


Too Long Since I Held You All Wrong

by killeleanor



Category: X Factor (UK) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 22:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2524148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killeleanor/pseuds/killeleanor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt is angsting over the pressure of performing to millions every week and Aiden tries to comfort him.  Set in 2010 because that's where my heart lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Long Since I Held You All Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are my own because no one's proofread this except me and I really wanted to get it posted. I have a lot of love for this pairing and was so happy to be writing it again.

Aiden knows there's something off as soon as he opens the door.  The lights are off but he hears shuffling as he enters.  
   
"Matt?" he questions.  
   
It must be him.  Paije is downstairs watching TV with the 1D boys and no one else has reason to be in this room.  
   
"Yeah, mate, it's me."  
   
There's a crack in his voice that makes Aiden's brow furrow as he feels on the wall for the lightswitch.  
   
"Actually, could you leave the light off for a bit?"  
   
"Yeah mate, no worries."  
   
He shuts the door behind him and stands in the middle of the room, chewing on his lower lip.  Matt sighs and it sounds shaky.  Aiden looks down at his hands and picks at his fingernails.  
   
"You okay, Matt?"  It feels like the right thing to say.  
   
"Yeah, yeah, 'course I am."  
   
In the mid-darkness, Aiden sees him wipe his eyes.  He nods and takes a step back towards the door but stops himself.  
   
"Are you sure?"  
   
He has to ask.  Matt's his best mate and even if Aiden's crap at comforting people, it's the least he can do.  
   
"Yea-"  His voice breaks.  "No.  Aiden, I'm so scared."  
   
He drops his face into his palms and his whole body shakes.  Aiden stiffens and his fists clench.  He knows he should rush over and pull Matt into his arms- no, too much; he should probably pat him on the back and try to reassure him.  But his feet are rooted to the floor.  For Matt, though, he can try.

He staggers over to the bed and sits down gracelessly next to Matt, probably too close, but he doesn't move as Matt leans into him.

"This is so crazy, man.  We're performing for millions every week, there are paparazzi everywhere, people just trying to dig shit up from the past...  It's...  I dunno, mate, it's just a bit overwhelming.”

Jeez.  He hasn't seen Matt like this before.  He has a great line about helping him ease the tension, but knowing him he'd only end up messing it up.  Besides, he can tell now isn't the time for his awkward attempts at flirtation that Matt never seems to notice.  He stares at his clasped hands between his knees.  Aren't adults - proper adults - supposed to have it all worked out?  He's kind of relieved that even though Matt's older, he's still just the same as Aiden.  Aiden thought he had it bad being known as the 'brooding one' but people expect so much from Matt; it's got to be hard.

Matt inhales but his breath catches on a sob.  With an uncertain grimace, Aiden raises his hand behind Matt and places it in the centre of his back.  He barely has time to take in how warm Matt’s skin is before the older man throws his arms around him and buries his face in his neck.  He feels Matt’s tears on his skin and this is so intimate and he’s just sitting there so stiffly.  He needs to reciprocate, anything to stop Matt from pulling away.

Matt’s grip on him starts to go slack so Aiden acts fast, reaching out his other arm to fully envelop Matt who seems to sag in relief and pull himself closer.  Aiden starts to pat his back but it feels so insincere and not how he wants to express himself or comfort his friend, so he strokes soothing circles.  His fingers curl so he’s dragging his nails across Matt’s shirt as well, partly so he has something to grip onto, to ground himself a bit, but mostly for the shiver it sends through his friend.  Even though his posture is too rigid and his left side kind of hurts with the way he’s leaning to hug Matt and he’s holding him all wrong, there’s something about the way their arms fit around each other that makes him forget why he’s holding Matt in the first place or why he even felt uncomfortable about it.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about.  You’re sound,” Aiden says softly, unsure where the words are coming from.  “I’m with you, okay?  No matter what happens, I’m with you.”

Maybe his voice catches at the end and maybe he’s revealed too much but he feels Matt smile against his neck and finds he doesn’t really care.  Slowly, Matt’s grip on him lessens but he doesn’t pull away.  Instead, he raises his head so he’s eye-level with Aiden and presses their foreheads together.

“You’re golden, Aid.  Thank you.”

His eyes are closed and Aiden is once again struck by the intimacy of the situation.  It’d be so easy to just lean forward and touch their lips; if Matt got weirded out, Aiden could just say he got caught up in the moment and they could laugh it off.  Matt’s a nice guy; he’d understand.  Maybe Matt even likes him back; Aiden never has been able to tell, always too focused on making himself look approachable and at ease.  He screws up his face thinking about it but eventually decides it’s now or never.

Matt starts to pull away as Aiden lunges forwards so he only catches the corner of his lip and his chin but the intention is clear enough.  Aiden feels his face go red as he straightens up.  He clasps his hands back together and bites hard on his lip, hunching his shoulders and looking at his knees.

“Finally,” Matt whispers.  “I thought it’d never sink in.”

He brings his hand to Aiden’s face and tilts it so they’re looking at each other again.  This time it’s Aiden’s eyes that are damp, glinting in the limited light.  Matt’s tongue darts out to wet his lips and he leans in, pressing their mouths together.  Aiden forgets everything, everything but the points where he and Matt are touching, the contrast between the roughness of his stubble and the softness of his tongue sliding alongside Aiden’s, the gentle sound of their breaths mixing.  Neither wants to pull away but when they do, the warmth in Matt’s eyes lets Aiden know that he isn’t afraid any more.


End file.
